I believe it may or may not be a bid deal.

I think it is never a good thing to hit someone, be it punch, slap, thumb, whatever its form may be. Now is it unacceptable? There is no objective standard. Only a person who is slapped can attribute relevant meaning to the action, put it in context of situation and history, and know what to do in reply. Many times, the person may feel it is kind of justified.

People should realize, man (women 2) is not rational. This means he is not JUST rational. Only ideas are rational (or not). A person is both rational and emotional. And emotion is much closer to action than reason. This means there's like a neural shortcut between an emotional physical phenomenon and the action it causes. In reasoning, there's this whole conscious process. It slows action down.

We should always avoid violence like the plague. I, as an anarchist, am all about eliminating the initiation of force in human interaction. Nervertheless, I can appreciate the fact, that Good people can hit, and do all sorts of other bad things. I can understand someone who is capable of hitting or has hit, can still be very much inloved, and if you think the opposite, you just don't know any better.

I realize people can lose their temper. Some people have shorter fuses, And sometimes people just are not in possession of the necessary emotional controls that enable them not to bypass reason.

I do personally make a distinction between an occasional slap and a history of continuous and regular slaps, and between a slap and a punch/kick. And someone who doesn't just does not know any better.

I don't believe it is wise or appropriate to make judgements over what someone should do regarding the described situation. Only the person who lived it can put it all into context and be objective.

We are used to thinking only someone who views something  from the outside can be objective... This is false. Having no relation with the subject of our judgements is NOT a way to be more objective, because that necessarily means we don't know the whole story, and we lack part of the truth of the matter, namely, the subjective experiences of victim and aggressor. This just means you simply do not know as well what's at stake. Also, you have no empathy. You don't know what can be lost, and how important it is for the victim to keep. This means you have no notion of value, since value is very much subjective. You can't really provide propper MEANING to the whole situation.

Also, have in mind that is it really easy to be rational with strangers, or even people you don't have to LIVE with. If they get on your nerves you can just walk away. Now if it is the people you share a BED with, this is not the case. If the person is nagging you like crazy and throwing a tandrum (yes, grown people throw them too), you can refrain yourself, try to reason, and that's what you should do. But the person should also cooperate, play ball. Sometimes the person doesn't. Are you just leaving your home for a couple of hours everytime that happens? Maybe... to each his own. I'm just saying it is no way as simple as dealing with strangers or acquaintances.

Violence is always a tragic display of self-defeat. You effectively lose or give up on exercising self-control/restrain. It is according to your nature, both to restrain and to lose it. We should try to keep ourselves as rational as possible and avoid violence like the plague, but should also understand the world is not black and white, and a slap is not a big deal, unless the victim makes it one, and only she can know when it IS time to call it a deal-breaker, after assigning responsibility to both parties.

That's how I see it.

Sal.